I am struggling so badly. I just wanna run away and give up. I don't have enough patience to ask God for patience. I feel so unworthy of His unconditional love. I feel as if I don't have the strength to keep going. I just don't. I feel like putting my hands up and giving up. Maybe other things are getting in the way. Maybe i'm scared of what I think is my vocation. I don't know. I don't think I've ever felt as ashamed as I do now. I'm not lost, because I know exactly where I am & what I have to do. I just can't bring myself to do it. When you know more, you have so much more to do and give. There is so much more on my conscious and heart. I know the truth, and that makes me worse than anyone else. What is wrong with me? The answer is obvious. What I have to do is obvious. I just can't. I'm being so repetitive, but this is just how I feel. I have no idea what I'm doing. 

I feel so pathetic. 

This probably doesn't even make sense. :(

"Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you
Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"
But you've got the love I need 
To see me through

Sometimes it seems the going is just too rough
And things go wrong no matter what I do
Now and then it seems that life is just too much
But you've got the love I need 
To see me through

When food is gone you are my daily meal, oh
When friends are gone I know my savior's love is real
Your love is real

'Cause you got the love
You got the love
You got the love
You got the love
You got the love
You got the love

Time after time I think "Oh Lord what's the use?"
Time after time I think it's just no good
'Cause sooner or later in life, the things you love you loose
But you got the love I need 
To see me through"

I've been listening to this song for a bit, I wasn't really paying attention. I think this is pretty awesome. 

melissa xx