Last Friday was my orientation and today was my first official day. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be and I was actually just really excited. Today was a really busy day for them so we were pretty much just thrown into it. Each resettlement intern was assigned to one case manager. It happened to be my case manager's day to do "intake". For example, the refugees (our clients) land in Atlanta on a Tuesday, and the following Tuesday they return to the IRC office. On this 2nd Tuesday, they have a whole day of presentations regarding everything they need to know about life in the U.S. I arrived at 9am and by 11am we were still doing the debrief. There were about 3 or 4 different groups from different countries, who of course spoke different languages. So each group had their own translator. It gets a little messy when they're all talking at once in a tiny room.
After that was finished we returned to my case manager's cubicle. Of course being an intern and working in an office like setting she taught me how to use the ~fancy~ copy machine. That was a lot of fun! We also learned some basics like filing, making doctors appointments, having clients sign paperwork, and getting the clients on medical insurance. We got pretty hands on with that, so I was super happy about that. Pretty much they showed us the ropes without any legit training and kind of just threw us in there. (Actual training will come later)
All in all, I had a really good time and I am looking forward to my work there. I want my own cubicle to decorate though :(. I think what I will have the hardest time doing will be maintaining a professional relationship with the clients as opposed to a more personal one. I get attached to people easily and I love going above and beyond for things they need. I also love to do thoughtful gifts and that sorta thing. So I do think I will struggle with that, but that's just the reality of this kind of work. You can't give people special treatment.
My schedule will be sort of 2 or 3 full days and one half day. Today I worked 9 to 5 and I really wasn't expecting that. It's okay though, I'm excited to bring my own lunch and coffee ;). I WANT A CUBICLE! ! ! LOL
I'm trying to think of another update. I think the only one is I'm looking for a part time job!! Want one bad. I have to get a new laptop, phone, and plane ticket! Not cheap. We'll see how this all works out though
1. I am really just using this platform to rant.
2. I'm so tired of being mediocre, when I know I have the abilities to be great.
3. When is enough, enough?
4. I don't want to live for anyone else, but myself.
5. I am afraid I won't.
6. Or that I will conform to expectations of me.
7. Wish I could speak or write eloquently.
8. This blog is just a bag of my tears on a screen.
9. I wish I had a meaningful blog.
10. @ God, I'm still waiting for my Whitney Houston voice.
11. I need to do brain exercises to get the ability to think straight and properly organize and execute thoughts.
12. Why don't I know more English grammar? AKA I need to learn how to write properly.
13. I don't have time, but I kinda want a bf.
14. A hot one.
15. Hire me
ok so more than a few things
I always seem to update like in the middle of the night, and tonight is no exception. I am always awake till like 3am. But I just have a terrible sleep cycle. I sleep at like 3 or 4am then wake up like a 10am then nap 3 more hours in the middle of the day somewhere. It's a terrible habit but hopefully it'll change soon. Today I did nothing but watch an entire season of Mobwives.
Friday is my orientation date for my internship and I'm super nervous about it because I have to do some things to prepare for it. I also have to take care of like 3 other time sensitives things. And they are really just stressing me out.
For my intership I have to get a headshot, write a bio, find something nice to wear, think of a time to leave my house to arrive on time, and get mentally prepared.
I have to deposit some $$ in the bank and pay some bills.
I have to renew my HSF scholarship & send my mentor some documents.
I have to order some paper work and then send it to my school's financial aid office for next year.
I have to look into potential summer jobs.
Keep up with a couple appointments I have coming up in the next couple weeks.
& last but not least settle my fall plans once and for all.
Anyways Im all over the place but I want nothing more than to get on a nice 16 hour day schedule and get those things in order. I feel like I'm always talking about order this and order that but?? That's just me.
And funny story that just happened. So its 1:30 am like I said and I went to the bathroom and when I came out of it my brother's bedroom light is on. So I go in and he's hunched over his chair grabbing a shirt, and I'm like what are you doing? And he looks like he jolted out of bed from sleeping, looks like a deer in headlights. He doesn't respond to me so I have to ask like two more times and he says he's getting ready for school. And I just stare at him because it's funny and reminds me of when It happened to me once or twice. So I say its 1am and he looks at his phone, still looks like he's half asleep half shocked and he says good thing I'm prepared and holds up a button up shirt and goes to his closet. So I'm still standing there like what are you doing, so I ask again. And he says getting ready for school and I'm like Juan, I just said its 1am you can go back to sleep. And he looks at his phone AGAIN and is like oh, I didn't quite think this through, I thought it was a 7.
BUT ANYWAYS it was funny you had to be there. It was all about his expression. Its a running joke between my sister and I about the way he looks when he just wakes up.
ALSO I just proofread this post and I read it all in my head in a Staten Island or idk WHAT accent. Thanks Mobwives! ! (This also happened to me when I got into 1D a few years ago, but of course it was an Irish accent)
Pray for me to finish my to do list this week. I'm begging you.
Friday is my orientation date for my internship and I'm super nervous about it because I have to do some things to prepare for it. I also have to take care of like 3 other time sensitives things. And they are really just stressing me out.
For my intership I have to get a headshot, write a bio, find something nice to wear, think of a time to leave my house to arrive on time, and get mentally prepared.
I have to deposit some $$ in the bank and pay some bills.
I have to renew my HSF scholarship & send my mentor some documents.
I have to order some paper work and then send it to my school's financial aid office for next year.
I have to look into potential summer jobs.
Keep up with a couple appointments I have coming up in the next couple weeks.
& last but not least settle my fall plans once and for all.
Anyways Im all over the place but I want nothing more than to get on a nice 16 hour day schedule and get those things in order. I feel like I'm always talking about order this and order that but?? That's just me.
And funny story that just happened. So its 1:30 am like I said and I went to the bathroom and when I came out of it my brother's bedroom light is on. So I go in and he's hunched over his chair grabbing a shirt, and I'm like what are you doing? And he looks like he jolted out of bed from sleeping, looks like a deer in headlights. He doesn't respond to me so I have to ask like two more times and he says he's getting ready for school. And I just stare at him because it's funny and reminds me of when It happened to me once or twice. So I say its 1am and he looks at his phone, still looks like he's half asleep half shocked and he says good thing I'm prepared and holds up a button up shirt and goes to his closet. So I'm still standing there like what are you doing, so I ask again. And he says getting ready for school and I'm like Juan, I just said its 1am you can go back to sleep. And he looks at his phone AGAIN and is like oh, I didn't quite think this through, I thought it was a 7.
BUT ANYWAYS it was funny you had to be there. It was all about his expression. Its a running joke between my sister and I about the way he looks when he just wakes up.
ALSO I just proofread this post and I read it all in my head in a Staten Island or idk WHAT accent. Thanks Mobwives! ! (This also happened to me when I got into 1D a few years ago, but of course it was an Irish accent)
Pray for me to finish my to do list this week. I'm begging you.
I feel like I just posted, but it was a week ago! So it's currently 12:40am. I have been trying to get to bed for about 2 hours now, but I can't get off my phone.
Tomorrow I am going to catch up with Virginia. Were gonna go to the mall, hang out, and we're gonna attend the IRC's (where I'm interning) open house. I am really excited to get to know more and also to get an opinion. My orientation is next week and I am so nervous for it. To meet the other interns, some IT stuff, and the fact that I have to submit a professional headshot and a bio. Like?? Im ugly and have no life to show for it. Lol. Jk. But I am like what do I write, where do I get that shot done??? Also I have to speak to them about my end time to be in Oman by needed time.
I was thinking about summer classes. I think tomorrow will be my last day to really check it out bc I am cutting it too close!! Most application dates are over and I need to see if my classes will align. Also my grades came in and my gpa is back up!! I was so relieved. I could have done so much better . . . . But it's no time for regrets. I ask myself though, where would I be if I really just always tried my best? From day 1? Or even day 500! I feel I always just do mediocre and ride through/with that. It's a shame really! I feel I have so many talents that could have really been fostered if I went for it. Or some that haven't even been revealed, due to my lack of motivation and laziness. If I look back to my New Year resolutions. I have literally done none. Im like in the 5th month of the year. Time's running out.
I am also thinking of getting a part time job this summer. It's frustrating because everything coming up for me depends on each others time frame. I have to find someone who will hire me for only the summer, but I can't even apply because I don't know my hours with the internship. I could estimate, but because im trying to get a bigger workload to leave early. I have no idea what my schedule will be. And if I don't know when I'm going to be finishing, I can't get a date for departure in the fall. So it's a big cycle and I won't know till next Friday. But I'm wasting time on job applying. I was thinking of Starbucks, but ?? I'm scared. Lol I really just have to overcome my fear of new things that I consider like complicated and deals with customer service. Although I did both those things at T-Mobile. It just happened so quick getting that job I didn't have time to be afraid.
Also in early August I will be going to the Nicki Concert. I am beyond thrilled, so excited! ! Counting down!
If you read yesterday's post, my first con was missing my luch if I left! Luca, is also known as luchi, lucitas, the luch, and so many more. He is one of my now closest friends baby. Mommy life for Karen definitely brought our close friendship back together. It is almost Luca's first birthday and soon will be a toddler, so this post is for him! I am so in love with the pictures below.
He is so funny and has a little personality all his own. He has really been such a little blessing in all our lives. I really do feel like I will miss him so much because I see him so often. He lives a few houses down and I watched him weekly for a short time. I cannot believe how big he is getting. I was looking at a few pictures of him when he was younger and what a difference! He is definitely learning how to do toddler stuff and is trying to walk around. I still can't get over how fast time flies! I love when we have to take him to different places. We went on a road trip with him, or when he take him to restaurants or just shopping, it's always so fun. Wish he can be a baby forever!! I will make sure he remembers my name by skyping with him while I'm away.
Love you little Luch, hopefully he can see this when he's older so he knows how much he meant to us.
I was gonna wait to post this on his birthday, but I will just post party pictures!
Melissa
I am so tired atm (1 am) but I want to write before I forget my feelings. In my last post I talked about 35% chance of a new venture. So now I'm at around a 98.5%. It was 35%, because 50% was at the hands of the second party. And the remaining 15% was my mom's blessing. The news is that I will be an au pair this coming fall in the country of Oman. If you know me well, you know this would be a pure dream for me.
A little bit to recap the events, as they happened so quickly. Thursday evening I randomly googled au pairs Oman. I saw a listing for a beautiful family, I knew I couldn't do it but made a profile regardless. Friday morning I had an email from the family showing interest (who needed someone for the summer). Of course knowing it was a wonderful opportunity and perhaps once in a lifetime, I went downstairs to cry at the possibilities (literally). My mom told me to delete my profile before I got more interest messages that would further break my heart. Knowing I couldn't, I emailed back with my response, but checked out their social media. AKA worse heart break!! They did reply though, stating they could wait till August. Knowing THAT could be a possibility, I made fall plans that could accommodate an au pair schedule. I did this so I could have a clear cut plan for my parents (that wouldn't interrupt classes) and give my word to the family and not waste their time. I sent them another email showing true interest and we set up a phone call. All went well and they were interested in me as much as I was them. I was over the moon, but still needed my mom's final yes. At the moment she is still wary, but I feel that is normal for any mom when their oldest child does something this radical and out of the comfort zone. And this is all by early Saturday afternoon. So over a course of 3 days. It is currently Tuesday. Not even a week from when I made a profile. I am thankful to God that he can't even grant me the hope of such opportunities.
At the moment, everything feels pretty concrete. I just need to come up with some dates, I will not know for sure until the 22nd of May which is my orientation for my intership (post before this one) It will end in August, so I will see what my earliest leave date is for that.
Like I said, things are moving and in progress. There are still many things I need to take care of so everything feels very surreal at the moment and I will not truly be excited until I have a plane ticket ;) and I feel it is really really happening.
The first day or two, I really said to myself there are no losses only wins. I told my parents that this was like a dream come true and that there was nothing to lose and all to gain. Of course as the initial fog passes things become a little more clear and reality sets. There is no doubt this is a dream for me. None. But I have to be honest, this is a very hard decision I have to make. There are gains, but not without sacrifices of my own. But I guess this is real life, and this is what's it all about. Taking in the pros and cons that I have come to conclusion with so far. In my heart I feel that what is right, is that I go. As much as there is a little part of me that says- wait it out, there will be another time- I know what I have to do. And if I don't do it (by my choice, not by something that naturally doesn't work out) I think I will regret it for years to come.
So voilà, my gains and losses list.
Losses:
-Luca growing up: his first steps, words, he will most likely forget me.
-My 21st birthday, along with ALL my bff's birthdays (fall and winter baby crew)
-My family's vacation to California after 12 years (our U.S. hometown)
-Winter vacation in Mexico (all my extended family will be present with my exception) I missed going last summer also because I was working. So it will most likely be 3 years till I return.
-I get home sick VERY easily, longest I've been away from my family is two weeks (it was so fast paced, I had no time to think, and so didn't feel it). Almost five months will be tough! !
-I had really awesome classes set up this fall that I will give up for some not so cool ;) but still not missing any school!!
-Miss spending time with those that are important to me (will be sure to Skype ;))
-and again, just missing out on regular normal U.S. life. To me, even to just miss a single joke or a hug, will be momentous. The thought brings me to tears.
-Luca growing up: his first steps, words, he will most likely forget me.
-My 21st birthday, along with ALL my bff's birthdays (fall and winter baby crew)
-My family's vacation to California after 12 years (our U.S. hometown)
-Winter vacation in Mexico (all my extended family will be present with my exception) I missed going last summer also because I was working. So it will most likely be 3 years till I return.
-I get home sick VERY easily, longest I've been away from my family is two weeks (it was so fast paced, I had no time to think, and so didn't feel it). Almost five months will be tough! !
-I had really awesome classes set up this fall that I will give up for some not so cool ;) but still not missing any school!!
-Miss spending time with those that are important to me (will be sure to Skype ;))
-and again, just missing out on regular normal U.S. life. To me, even to just miss a single joke or a hug, will be momentous. The thought brings me to tears.
Pros:
-I don't interrupt my studies AND experience life (not vacation) abroad
-Close to, if not is, debt free travel
-Cross cultural exchange ;)
-Get to build a bond with an amazing family. I know it sounds cheesy, but I really want us to keep in contact even after I leave them. I am so happy that I feel we already share a connection and a certain comfort. Of course I am very nervous because they are giving me great responsibility. But, I trust that in these coming months I will be more aware of my actions and do what I can to improve my skills in ways I know will benefit my future with them.
-Will look good on my resume as an intl. affairs student (perhaps opens more doors or gives evidence to my passions?)
-Um, Oman is my dream country. Please Google it and fall in love. (Or check out my Oman link to the right)
-I want to pick up Arabic (unlikely) but experience it first hand.
-My dream
-Personal growing experience. With enormous amount of responsibility and discipline that it will take from me.
-Out of my comfort zone for sure!! Completely new people (culture) and place (even just the climate has vast differences)
-Sightsee and visits!
-Tbh knowing that I can do something amazing like this I think gives me confidence, motivation, and more sense of self worth.
-More direction in life to what I want to do career wise, volunteer wise
-& I also tell myself I want to get a job in the area (entire peninsula lol) when I have the ability to, but maybe if it doesn't work out I wont waste my time when I am older
-my dream, and if I know that I enjoy it I will have more specific goals or if I dont like previously mentioned than I won't spend the next 3 or 4 years of my life dreaming what could be. (I've already spent a year doing that ;)).
-I don't interrupt my studies AND experience life (not vacation) abroad
-Close to, if not is, debt free travel
-Cross cultural exchange ;)
-Get to build a bond with an amazing family. I know it sounds cheesy, but I really want us to keep in contact even after I leave them. I am so happy that I feel we already share a connection and a certain comfort. Of course I am very nervous because they are giving me great responsibility. But, I trust that in these coming months I will be more aware of my actions and do what I can to improve my skills in ways I know will benefit my future with them.
-Will look good on my resume as an intl. affairs student (perhaps opens more doors or gives evidence to my passions?)
-Um, Oman is my dream country. Please Google it and fall in love. (Or check out my Oman link to the right)
-I want to pick up Arabic (unlikely) but experience it first hand.
-My dream
-Personal growing experience. With enormous amount of responsibility and discipline that it will take from me.
-Out of my comfort zone for sure!! Completely new people (culture) and place (even just the climate has vast differences)
-Sightsee and visits!
-Tbh knowing that I can do something amazing like this I think gives me confidence, motivation, and more sense of self worth.
-More direction in life to what I want to do career wise, volunteer wise
-& I also tell myself I want to get a job in the area (entire peninsula lol) when I have the ability to, but maybe if it doesn't work out I wont waste my time when I am older
-my dream, and if I know that I enjoy it I will have more specific goals or if I dont like previously mentioned than I won't spend the next 3 or 4 years of my life dreaming what could be. (I've already spent a year doing that ;)).
There are many more, but I think most come under the personal growth umbrella. I mean in all aspects of my life, emotionally, professionally, mentally, spiritually, and even physically I will be affected. But it is a challenge I am willing to take. For the sake of my future and happiness. I am thankful I have such supportive parents and I am so happy to know that they support me because they see something in me that tells them I was made for this and that my heart is in the right place.
It is not easy, but I don't expect it to be. It has not even been a week and I am going through varied emotions. If in the future, for whatever reason, plans fall through I know I did my best to make my dreams come true. And I also feel that even the process is such a growing experience for me. I will be growing a lot this coming year!
This is also helping me grow closer to God. In a way I didn't see coming. Daily I am asking God that His will be done in my life and that He sets me on the path He has made for me. I pray I won't be selfish and listen to make sure I follow what He has in store. I am trusting that He has great plans for me :)
Please pray for me,
Melissa
Melissa
I have been wanting to make a blog post for the longest. As always of course. But I will be at the grocery store and what not, and I get this amazing idea for a post. Of course by the time I actually get to pick up my laptop and type I have about 1000 I mesh into one post or none at all because I don't have the greatest memory.
My last day of classes were last week and I just have a couple final exams left and I'm done for Spring 2015!! Earlier this year I was really contemplating what I was going to do this summer. I thought of taking a couple summer classes and I am still undecided about it. I decided (not without the amazing help and motivation from my mentor!) to apply for an internship. It was a fairly quick and easy process getting my resume together to be able to send out. Initially I did a few internship searches on a website and really found one that caught my attention and I immediately felt It was one I could properly use all my talents to really contribute to. I sent an email and got a call the next day asking to set up an appointment. I set it up and I was a little nervous the day of, but was confident that it was made for me that It wasn't to bad. :) My interviewer got to know me, I got a tour and a quick run down of the tasks, and he let me know my orientation date! I will be doing resettlement service with the International Rescue Committee. I will be helping refugees accustom themselves to life in the U.S. Help them with their homes, transportation, employment, doctors, schools, shopping, etc. Our final goal is citizenship. Not only will I be doing personal work, but I will also be doing administrative work. And if you know me, you know I love to do all this typing, organizing, busy work. I am so excited as I feel this fits in perfectly with something I can see myself doing in the future. I also feels it ties in all my passions into one job description. I know there is always a chance of disillusionment, but I am positive and sure that no matter what I will leave a mark.
There are a few more plans (PLAN) that my soul is dying to do for fall. Absolutely dying to do. One and only bolded bucket list type thing. Dreams of a still sparkly young girl. I have it planned out, and all I need is a yes and some more specifics. I think I would cry. When I got an unexpected and initial taste of what could be, I knew there was no way it would happen. I'm not sure if because I got the internship that I feel motivated, or I just want it so bad there wasn't stopping me finding a way, but now there are definitely possibilities. 35% chance I believe. I am getting a little caught up with what could be. I need to be positive and think that I will get it, so I can make it happen, but I am also trying my best to stay in touch with reality so I am not so let down. But this truly is a dream!! With this venture there are no losses, only gains. Gains in all aspects of my life that I can't even imagine. Spiritually, professionally, mentally, emotionally, I mean everything. IF it happens. I will list it all!
Pray for me, and God's plan for my life.
